***Perfect Life Partner and Marriage...!

Hi All :)


Today friends I thought would share tidbit of views on marriage...! Though I am not much experienced in life...As you all know Life is a biggest teacher...! I have been married for 1.6 yrs now and not much of an experience tough...!

                                  
When I got married and moved to the US most of my friend in INDIA as well as some new friends i met here... there first question was ... was it an "Arranged Marriage"....? untill then through out my life i had not given a thought about the differences between Perfect Life Partner , Arranged or Love Marriage.
Well today i would just like to share how traditional Indian Arranged Marriage go on.. Although Arranged Marriage is still a debatable topic....!
Before that have you ever given a thought about "Perfect Life Partner" because almost every body talk about perfect life partner when it come to marriage...

                                                            

I think before considering a "perfect life partner" a question with in our conscience should beep with a big red light on..... “Are any body perfect with out flaws? Or Are we Perfect....? “So... major doubt or confusion called perfect life partner is eliminated....! [Comments and criticisms’ well come...!]


In India and as well as in some of the other parts of the world still follow the system of Arranged Marriage although it’s not the fashion in the present generation...! Most of the time Arranged marriage is confused with "Forced Marriage"
It happened so, my painting teacher and me were having a small chit chat.. she was a little hesitant to ask me weather mine was an Arranged Marriage.. That’s when it initiated me to go back and check, on what basis Marriage is made...! and why Arranged Marriage or a Love Marriage or Marriage on the whole..! The puzzle started pecking inside my brain..
That’s when I started to find out the Analogies, differences and, commonalities between Traditional Arranged marriage and Love marriage ....                                                  

I happened to read this intresting Article from a book which i would like to share....

Story Time....!

Story goes some thing like this, many many years ago originally there was no such system as marriage in INDIA... people were more primitive, something like cavemen. If a man wanted some woman he could just go and take her, and no one could say anything about it...! Swetaketu (a small boy ) changed all that .


One day Swetaketu , his father, Uddalaka Rishi , and his mother were all sitting peacefully near the hut. A Brahamin walked up to his mother, said “come walk with me....!" And carried her away. Swetaketu wanted to follow him and bring his mother back, but his father dissuaded him gently, saying “Someday you will steal someone's wife yourself.” Then swetaketu's young heart was hurt that he vowed he would change society so that no children would ever again be so cavalierly deprived of their mothers. And so marriage came into being.

                                                             Still, the ancient sacrament of marriage was nothing like what we have today. Back then if a boy and a girl decided to marry they would go out alone together to a secluded place and would take the sun , or the fire, the water or another of the great elements as witness, and that was it...! They were husband and wife.


Many rituals were added later by the priestly class just for the sake of priests’ benefit, but the essence of the rite still remains same. Every Vedic wedding today takes fire as a witness, because no marriage is regarded as irrevocably solemnized untill the couple takes seven steps around the sacred fire.
Well, Stories aside, a question arises with in every body’s mind... "How does this Arranged marriage work....? or Why is it Such a hit or successful comparatively?....!"


Some might be wondering, really? Does Arranged Marriage really work?????...! Even in spite of getting married to some one with whom you were not acquainted with...A total stranger…, known only for few days, spoken only for few hours…, chosen by some one else.. And known partially not completely though how…..?....! But how is that some people simply get along and their marriage becomes a big hit….?


Well answer lies here….:


Young adults tend to view arranged marriage as an option they can fall back on if they are unable or unwilling to spend the time and effort necessary to find spouses on their own. In such cases, the parents become welcome partners in a hunt for marital bliss. Further, in several cultures, the last duty of a parent to his or her son or daughter is to see that he or she passes through the marital rites.


Some of the major factors that are considered the order of priority are:--
1. Family Reputation.
2. Educational Qualification.
3. Psychological Compatability (Mode of thinking ).
4. Wealth.
5. Horoscope.
6. Age.
7. Language.
8. Culture.
9. Religion.
10. Diet or Food Habits.
11. Physical Preventability
These are certain basic and common factors which should be common amongst the perspective bride and the groom in today’s modern world, because although these factors sounds trivial, but as years pass by these factors after marriage emerges as main factors.
The Research has shown that Arranged marriages are more stable than love marriages, since matchmaking is done on several dimensions of compatibility, instead of on a whim…                                                                     
                                           
Remember friends I am not talking for or against Arranged or Love Marriage… Don’t misunderstand me.

As one of the writers has rightly said that :-“ Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage.” When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!
                               "Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing OR Marry some one who shares same Goals in life."

At last would like to share something very usefull tip for a happy married life, which one of my very good friends passed on to me..... which was indeed helpfull and practicle :-
He said irrespective of  Love or an Arranged Marriage :--


Few tips for a happy life:
* Life is Short......! Don't take things very serious and don't get offended, try and avoid quarrels.
* Follow the principle - Forgive and Forget.
* Don't try to Investigate things - Trust
* Love - you will not be happy without love - it brings happiness in life.
* Establish a good communication.
* DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)
* A SENSE OF HUMOR
* INTIMACY
*GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
* SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
                                                          

Hope, Trust and, Love.

What is LOVE ?
1. "Love is patient and kind;
2. love is not jealous or boastful;
3.  It is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way;
4. It is not irritable or resentful;
5. It does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.
6. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
7. Love never ends; 1 Cor 13:4
These tips did really work for me... it will definitly help you too...! and makes the relationship stronger....! :)